Thursday, September 23, 2010

torsoslookinglikefaces.com

Know what? Just stop reading this right now. This will ruin your day. But I've already written it, so it's gonna happen. Be warned that it's NSFW (there's PG-13 nudity). ((boobz)).
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WELL, a few weeks ago, I saw one of the best things I've ever seen on the internet:




BAM! This is just so goddamn awesome. Who is this woman? Does she know that her torso looks like Homer's face? Who first noticed it?? I hate that I will never know these things.




Naturally I enjoyed the shit out of that. And then just a few days ago, I happened upon another torso-face which someone else had discovered. It is safe for work but still gross because it's Iggy Pop.




Iggy Pop has always given me the willies. His gummyworm spine, those telephone cord veins, the way that I can see every bit of striated muscle through his greasy baked chicken skin... Hey Iggy Pop, where's all your subcutaneous tissue?


After seeing those, my friend Kristen and I decided that we probably needed to start a blog devoted entirely to torsos looking like faces. We could call it torsoslookinglikefaces.com!
We haven't gotten around to it yet. Don't take that domain, asswipes!



The google search for more torso-faces proved more challenging than I had originally thought. First I tried "Torso-Face". I found nothing. Kristen just found a bunch of disembodied anime torsos. ('Disembodied' is the opposite of the right word for this situation.)



Then I tried googling "fat naked" and "old naked" because I thought they'd have the most expressive faces on account of all the loose skin.


I wouldn't recommend doing that, by the way. The internet... it's just... the worst.

(Forgive me, Internet-- I didn't mean it!!)


But it paid off to comb through all of those photos that I have thusfar not been able to unsee. I found a few keepers:





Pre-op plastic surgery victim


LOOKS LIKE....


Guy Incognito










Some athlete


LOOKS LIKE...


William Hurt as The Elephant Man (kinda?)







I know this one is kind of cheating... butwhocaresbecauseLOOKIT!







Now those were just warm-up. I was just getting you ready for the crown jewel; the fruits of my labor.
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Post-gastric bypass surgery man (front view)


LOOKS LIKE...


Walter Matthau







Post-gastric bypass surgery man (side view)


LOOKS LIKE...


Droopy Dawg




Okay, that's it. You can erase this from your internet history now.

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