Monday, September 13, 2010

Giant Sour Patch Kid

I spent the entire year after college floundering, wandering from place to place trying to figure out what to do. One of those places was my parents' house. I know people are supposed to complain about living with their parents as adults, but it the truth is, it was fucking great. Jobless and penniless (no, I said penniless), I got to hang out with the dogs all day and be served like an obese Roman emperor. It was like being a housewife, but without the chores or the possibility of divorce.

One of the ways I used all of my free time (besides re-watching the edited-for-cable version of Die Hard on TNT over and over again-- "Yippee ki yay, melon-farmer!") was to accomplish one of my lifetime goals: making a giant, fully-functional (yes.) Sour Patch Kid.

I'll just take you through step-by-step. The entire process cost me around $30, which I think may have been all the money I had at the time.

Step 1:

The positive mold. Made this out of air-drying clay from Michael's Arts n Crafts. I told the women there what I was making and they were not AS impressed as I'd hoped they'd be.

Step 2:

The negative mold made with Plaster of Paris.

The complete negative mold. It still has red clay residue so I covered it in saran wrap to protect the future Sour Patch Kid.

Add Image

Step 3:

Mixed up the ingredients and put it in the mold. The recipe is a modified gumdrop recipe. It was mainly corn syrup, fruit juice, fruit pectin, and a whole lot of Kool-Aid (the concentrated sugarless packets that are basically just flavoring and citric acid).

Step 4:

Fresh out of the mold.

Extreme closeup!

Step 5:

Dusted with lemon kool-aid mix and sugar to give it that super sour sugar covering.

Eventually I did have to to leave my parents' home-- not because I got sick of it, but because I'm very susceptible to peer pressure. Once other people told me that my living with my parents after college was uncool or dysfunctional or childlike or some crap like that, I figured it was time to go. But before I left, I tucked the mold into a safe corner in my parents' basement. One day when I'm living there again-- and I say when, not if-- I will resurrect it and make an entire army of Sour Patch Kids. Nay: Sour Patch MEN.


  1. How was it (Did it taste like a Sour Patch Kid)?
    Could I order one of these from you?
    My friend LOVES Sour Patch Kids, and I am looking for a interesting gift for him.

  2. It DID taste like a Sour Patch Kid: sweet and sour. I ate the feet but then felt ill so eventually had to toss him.

    I would absolutely make you one if I had access to the mold, but unfortunately it's back at my parents' house several states away.

    But keep checking in-- if I get enough interest, I may start producing them!

    So spread the word!

  3. please start producing them my brother loves them and it would be an awesome christmas gift!

  4. it would be a great present! do it!

  5. I'm in NJ and I'm absolutely interested in having one of these!

  6. Oh oh I'd buy one in a flash!

  7. So, do you just leave it in the mold until it solidifies? And can you use a different type of koolaid? My best friend's birthday is coming up and she's pretty much addicted to these things. I wanted to make her one in her favorite color- blue.

  8. AH i wish i could make one!

  9. hey can you possibly post the ratios of the ingredients you used to make the sour patch kid?

  10. I need one for my roomie!

  11. Please please start selling these!!

  12. I tried this... my ass started to hurt for some reason. Is that normal?


  13. dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks...oh and also dicks